The Art of Being Selfish



sel fish


Devoted to or caring only for oneself, concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc, regardless of others.


No one has ever really been credited for being a selfish person.  Until recently I have always associated the word with negativity.  Now that I am thirty-five years old I am starting to take time out for myself in order to truly assess where I am in life, how I got here and where I intend to go. The older I get, the wiser I become and I feel it is directly related to the amount of time I put into becoming the best person that I can be.  The only way I can possibly be the best that I can be is to pursue what I am most passionate about with all that I have. Why is it that whenever I am trying to accomplish something great, something that takes great dedication, attention and energy to accomplish, somehow I am selfish? Its not everyone that thinks this but those whom are closest to me, ie. my partner in life, felt this way the most.  After four years of being in a relationship with the same woman, she is finally starting to see my selfishness as a desire to make a better life for the both of us.  So the question is, what was the turning point that turned my selfishness into desire and generosity?

The most important factor of being successful at being selfish is to, know thy purpose.  I am fully convicted, convinced, and invested in the belief that I am on this earth to become the greatest at what I do in life.  The only way to convince your partner, family, friends and whom ever else request time and energy from you that your time is your most valued commodity is by believing it yourself first.  Too many think that what needs to be done today can be done tomorrow.  When those close to you see you putting things off that you have claimed to be important to you then they will expect you to do so whenever they desire your time.  In other words, create the reputation of being unavailable due to deadlines.  This will not be effective unless you actually have projects to finish, which brings us back to the most important factor, and that is to have a purpose.  Not all of us can become great doctors, astronauts, musicians, poets, or whatever craft is deemed the most important by the masses of the time.  However, we live our own lives and our worlds are what consist in our daily routines.  Identify your circle of life.  Who do you care about the most in life?  Make a list if you have to, ranging from most to least important.  Side note, destroy all evidence as this may or may not come back to haunt you.  Those that are at the top of your list should in fact receive a decent amount of your time and energy, in relation to the amount of time that is spent in accomplishing your goals in life.  Just like with most things in life, it is a balancing act.  There are 168 hours in a week.  If you work a full time gig then at least 50 of those hours are automatically dedicated to time at office.  This of course is bare minimum, including travel to and from the office.  If you are getting a proper 7 hours a night of sleep then you are left with 69 hours a week of do whatever you want time.  Lets go ahead and round it to a nice 65 hours as four of those will go to miscellaneous uses such as bathroom, smoke break, eating, what have you.  So, 65 hours of what ever you want to do time per week. 

The obvious thing to point out here is that what a single, childless, mid thirties adult does with his or her time will be unquestionably different from ones that are married with children, divorced, or any variation of the combination.  Still, no matter what the circumstance, we are all humans and have our individual desires and concerns.  WE NEED TO TEND TO THESE.  69 hours in 7 days to do something that is important to you.  When it is important to you and you accomplish it, the way it will make you feel and the way you will respond to others after accomplishing it will in turn make it important to those that you care about and those who care about you most.  If you read to the kids 3 hours a night then you still have 44 hours a week to do you.  If you have to workout an hour a day then you still have 37 hours a week to do you.  There is time to be selfish and being selfish can be a good thing when it has a purpose.  So find you purpose in life and attack it with great vigor for we do not know when our end is coming but the only certain thing in life is that it will come.  By being selfish and dedicating a good amount of time to my passions as an artist, I was giving the space and energy by my loved ones to fulfill a decade long goal of writing and publishing a book.  My book, ‘Get to Know: Unlocking the Essence in You’, is now out and being bought on Amazon and it feels great.  My friends and family look at as a team victory and now its on to the next mission.  Be great, live life and love.


Dec. 9th 2013